There have been times that I've looked back over my life and been proud, while at other times disappointed. When I turned 19 years old, I threw God away, and said I was no longer interested. I gave away all of my suits and ties and said screw it. I moved to Alabama in hopes of a fresh start, and I found myself in the pig pen eating the slop, if ya know what I mean. I had absolutely no intentions of ever returning to church. I hated hypocrites and most of the Pastors I had ever met. I even proudly told people that I was no longer a Christian. From the age of 19 to 23, I was a regular at many bars. I was involved in things that I now regret. I stayed drunk most of those years searching for fame and fortune. I found myself more times than I care to remember being stabbed in the back by those I called my friends. I even remember saying once, "Barbed wire and fire wouldn't hurt as bad as the scars left behind by the wounds of my friends!" Let me tell you, I ran away from God, but He never left my side! At the age of 23, I was singing in a bar here in Alabama when the Holy Spirit showed up and tapped me on the shoulder. He asked, "What are you doing here?" I thought God would never find me in a bar. Christians don't come to bars. I found out that night that God wasn't a Christian! He was the Master and Creator of everything! In a bar, Jesus showed up and changed my life, and I've never been the same since. Of course, I've fallen and made mistakes since that night. Who hasn't fallen at some point? The Bible says we've all fallen short of the glory of God. I'm not perfect by any means, but I know one thing for certain. When the Holy Spirit showed up looking for me in that bar, I pulled God back out of the trash can and made Him the Lord of my life! The only trophies I had ever won were for my failures. I was a celebrated loser. I've come by today to tell you that Jesus changed my heart and my life, and He gave me a new trophy to show off! My new trophy sits high on a shelf proudly shining the light of God's goodness. This new trophy shows God's marvelous mercy at work in my life! I pray you are richly blessed by my new song, "Trophy on Display." I want to also encourage you to let your life's trophy be a sign to the world what God has done in your life! You are not a failure! You are a miracle, and Jesus will do for you what He's done for me!
Have you ever asked yourself why life has to hurt so bad sometimes? I've noticed recently that God has called so many home. So many more are sick and facing valleys as wide as the ocean. I believe God looked down through the ages of time, and He knew we would face these kinds of seasons. He knew we wouldn't understand His timing or reasoning sometimes, but I'm glad His Will is perfect! I'm glad to know, that even in the face of the adversary, God is working all things together for our good!
Church, we have to stay prayed up and ready for His return. I believe His return is so close, that if we really knew, it would scare us. Knowing that His return is at hand, we should be pushing harder now more than ever to reach our family and friends. We never know when we're going to be called home. July 16, 2017, I lost my sweet Grandma Judy. I lived with her every day for the last three years of her life taking care of her every need. The night she left us, I thought my world had ended. I prayed that God would take me instead of her. I prayed that God would heal her completely and just take me. I prayed for six months after her passing for God to just let me die. I walked in depression falling back to many ways of my sinful life. None of us are immune to depression. I've only been depressed twice in my life. The first time lasted for ten months, and a great healing and victory came forth out of that depression. I've just coming out of the past six month depression after grandma's passing, and I'm already starting to see signs of physical healing in my body. The Lord has shown me that once again I will be ministering in song across this great nation.
In 2012, my grandma Margaret passed away, and I wrote her a song titled, "A Bride Adorned For Her King" which can be heard on YouTube. One day about a year or so ago, my grandma Judy asked me if I would ever write a song for her. Honestly, I about fell over. I had to walk out of the room so she wouldn't see me cry. What a blessing that truly was to me. It was either on Wednesday or Thursday of the week she passed, that she was going to be having a procedure done, and I was about to head to the hospital, when the Holy Spirit spoke to me to sit down at the kitchen table and start writing. As the words started flowing, I began to become overwhelmed by a feeling of urgency to get to the hospital.
I started praying and asking God why now? Why are you giving me this song right now? I left and went to the hospital to be with grandma, and they were preparing her for surgery. She kept asking me to take care of her cat if she didn't make it through surgery. I encouraged her that she would be fine, and we both told each other how much we loved each other. I knew she was scared, but she was ready to meet Jesus just in case she didn't come out of surgery. About 45 minutes later, she came out of surgery, and was sitting up eating tomato soup in her bed in ICU. I was so happy to see her doing well. Within the next 30 minutes, there began to be complications from the surgery, and I watched my sweet grandma fall forward in bed never to wake up again. I'll never forget the pain I felt in that moment. Then, a couple days later, her body began to completely shut down. I just kept asking God why? I have cried for her every day since that day. I can't help but cry as I share this with you. To be honest, I don't remember much of the passed six months of my life. I have literally been a walking zombie.
As much as I miss both of my grandma's, I know the best way to honor their memories is to live my life for Jesus, and one day I'll see them both again. I can't wait for that day! I want to share with you the words that the Holy Spirit gave me for my grandma Judy just hours before she went into surgery.
VicWhispering My Name
The nurse handed me a napkin, said she wanted you to have this. As I unfolded it, I hit my knees and started to cry when my heart began to read what she wrote inside.
Tears will fall, lives will change. When the grave calls my name.
Forever gone, my pain will cease. Be strong for me, your minds at ease.
Life goes on and you’ll be fine. Strength in Him you’ll find.
When I take my last breath, the angels will carry me there.
I looked up to heaven and I cried out your name, as we laid you in the grave.
I’ll be strong for you with my head held high. This pain I feel inside, my heart will learn to hide, and every day I’ll whisper your name.
As the preacher began to speak, the nurse leaned over to me and said, I just thought you’d like to know, that with her last breath, she whispered your name.
And somewhere up in heaven, I know right now, she’s talking to Jesus, and she’s whispering my name.
tory Baptist Church - 7515 Gulf Highway - Lake Charles, LA 70607
Victory Baptist Church - 7515 Gulf Highway - Lake Charles, LA 70607